What adults can’t get away with, children can. Adults don’t stare at my wheelchair and ask me what is wrong. . .even if they really want to. However; children do both. They’re not offensive, they’re just curious.
Frequently, they circle the wheelchair with their eyes trying to take it all in and you can see their little brains trying to make sense of why an adult is sitting in this thing that looks like a toy. Often, their eyes are searching and their brains are working faster than person in front of them is walking and they run into the sibling that has stopped moving or the parent that is desperately trying to get their child to stop staring.
I usually intervene at this point. I’m trying to send a message to the parents that their child’s curiosity is just fine with me. My wheelchair weighs 300 pounds and it’s a lot less likely to be crushed than innocent curiosity. For that matter, I’m pretty tough too! If these parents knew how many pills I can swallow at one time, without water, they would be impressed and not worry that their child’s questioning eyes were the worst thing I had encountered in the last 24 hour period. Their stares don’t hurt me. By the way my 6’ 4” husband is very impressed with my pill swallowing skill! He says it’s my superpower.
And because I’m in a wheelchair, once I speak no parent is going to interrupt me or whisk their child away.. I’m disadvantaged and that would be rude. That’s the message they wish their children understood. But children don’t understand that. And because they don’t see me as disadvantaged they don’t pitty me. They treat me the same way they treat any other child with a really cool toy. They are honestly not really interested in me. They’re interested in the wheelchair.
At this point I make eye contact with them, validate their unasked questions and try to open further conversation by stating, “‘My wheelchair has a name. Her name is Bonnie. Do you want to see her lights?” Bonnie honestly has sweet lights and one of these years I will be a UFO for Halloween!
When one curious child is brave enough to ask me what’s wrong with me I tell them that I have a disease. When my brain tells my legs to move they don’t listen. My legs are naughty!. That’s my disease. And then hoping to help all mothers I tell the children, who are visibly under Bonnie’s spell, “So don’t be like my legs . . . ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!”
Typically eyebrows raise and first time listening increases, at least for the next 20 minutes,.
By the way Bonnie can put a part in my hair driving down a hall. She’s fast! I’m grateful for all the activities she allows me to attend and entertainment she provides; however, she’s left her mark in more than a few walls (those foot plates go right through drywall and gash anything harder).
WARNING; don’t step infront of one of these on the move or you will be taken out at the ankles!
RECOMENDATION: Walk as long as you safely can. You may not be able to do the activities you used to do but it’s shocking what muscles don’t get used when you’re sitting. If you don’t use them, you lose them. It’s hard to keep up all the physical exercise that your body just naturally does.
You are amazing. I am the mom that approaches and says “my child is curious. Please forgive the stares.” That usually inspires conversation and friendship.
Decades of loving you and being inspired by you. God’s grace found a home in your heart. Our family gave you just the right confidence to speak that grace daily.
Love this! Tell us more about how you keep inviting rather than stifling a child’s natural curiosity. I think there’s a lot we can do as parents to encourage it. I’m also wondering if you could throw in your perspective as an educator?
EmRee, you go girl! I love this blog. I am proud of you and I love you soo sooo much.
I was just thinking that I’m going to need some cow pictures!
EmRee,
Wow! I miss you my friend! Thank you for your candid conversation always sprinkled with love and humor.
Blessings!
So miss our ski days! When you’re in Utah let us know!
I’ve seen the wonder of the kids first hand and love the response you give them. You are truly an amazing person in every way!! Miss you guys!!
Life would be so boring without children! Thank you so much for helping with my youngest. He was so loved and cared for by your family.
I love this blog!! Please continue, you are a gifted writer… actually… you are a gift to everyone who knows you! Love and miss you!
When is Cinderella? FOUND IT! https://www.hct.org/Online/default.asp?BOparam::WScontent::loadArticle::permalink=Cinderella&BOparam::WScontent::loadArticle::context_id=
So no UFOS yet, (although my kids love the lights) but Bonnie could be a pirate ship or princess carriage.
https://www.target.com/s?searchTerm=hyde+and+eek+adaptive
So many awesome opprotunities . . .https://www.pinterest.com/lasenders/halloween-costume-ideas-for-wheelchair-users/
Love this! I remember you talking about similar things at work. You are such a blessing to so many people, EmRee, and so many of your words and your amazing outlook have been a gift in my life. Miss you, and hope you and your family are doing well!
–Andrea Zuellig
We miss our MN friends but love being closer to family. . .We always say we hate goodbyes but love Hellos!